At Grape and Nectar we just love wine jokes. In fact, the cheesier they are the better. We also love a bit of slightly preposterous wine wisdom, which we like to think sits somewhere between a joke and actual good advice (probable situated closer to the former than to the latter….).
These nuggets of silliness are a simple pleasure and one that makes us smile. We place these little gems in the same category as Christmas cracker jokes. If you follow our Instagram you will see that we like to post wine joke on our feed. So, mostly to remind ourselves to occasionally find joy in the frivolous, we decided to pull together some of our favourites here. These are in no particular order, but these are all corkers in our opinion:
- When you get a hangover wine it’d called the grape depression.
- To me the phrase “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
- You cannot live by wine alone. Add some chocolate.
- I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
- Glass of wine: “You seem very bitter and you look pale.”
Pint of pale ale: “Oh, quit your whining.”
- Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.
- Why is Oloroso so perfect? Because it is completely Flor-less.
- I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like wine.
- I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of wine…it’s a Bordeaux Collie.
- Chocolate cannot solve all our problems. That’s what wine is for.
- Wine improves with age. The older I get the better it tastes.
- I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
- It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine.
- I cannot wait for the day when I can drink a glass of wine with my kids, instead of because of them.
Wine can get very scientific (and we are the first to admit that geeking out over potassium bitartrate or phenolic compounds is another guilty pleasure). It can attract the pompous and we have all witnessed someone pontificating over a glass of something vinous. We hope this is reminder that wine can be fun and, in essence, that is why we just love wine jokes.
Drink responsibly all.